Kisses are better fate than wisdom.

E.E.CUMMINGS

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Reflecting on 2013

2013 was a great year. it had a great and fast promising start and ended with a steady & calm night.  I know this a bit late as i should have written this perhaps 30 days ago, but guess what? I was busy living my life starting 2014 the way I saw it fit.  2013 was a year of growth.

Relationships

My relationships with various members of my social circles were deeply reviewed this year.  

I lost a dear friend whom I considered to be my sister.  I honestly have no idea where it went wrong, but things are for the best.  No sour notes on my end as I see us just growing apart each and every day.

I renewed 3 friendships that I had thought were at their stale state and were close to death.  I was really glad that my friendships with Alex, Selene, and Kim got back on solid ground.  I had thought that my bridges with them were shaky, but when things got tough, these 3 are always there with open arms, no judgements and ill wills.  I don’t have to check with their schedules to have a good conversation. I can just simply write them an email.  We’re all adults now & we can’t always drop everything for coffee and a long talk.  

I solidified my relationships with my family also. For the 1st time in a long time, I actually had a great time during xmas eve with my family. There were great foods, lots of laughing, and obviously singing.  I didn’t even really care about the presents this year.

Dating

Its been more than a year since I’ve been seeing the runner and it didn’t dawn on me that I was in such denial of my feelings towards him until his marathon.  It was the worst ever.  I wish it happened on a different day, but it didn’t.  As much as my friends tease me about how much I like him, I never really acknowledged my emotions until that day.  Days/weeks before the big day, I was frantically searching for a sweatshirt/hoodie so i can keep warm during the race.  The hoodie became really important for some reason. Kim pointed out “he must be really special to [me] if you’re going all this trouble for a sweatshirt” and i shrugged it off.  I hate to admit it, but yes he is really specially to me.  He is dedicated to his work and his hobby and his mom.  I love that.  

Travel 

There aren’t much of traveling done during 2013 as I was too busy with other things in my life.  I have discovered more parts of California and mostly San Francisco as the year have gone on.  

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Shut this madness down

maybe its time to give up on social media- specially instagram.

I remember signing up for Instagram when I was living in San Francisco and not a lot of people had it still..and their office was still at Southpark…but i remember not using it because my boyfriend at the time, didn’t want me to over share my life and essentially our life.  ”if you want to share these moments with your friends, you can tell them privately or invite them with us” 

And I listened. and life was better our relationship was better, but with the popularity of Instagram and the ending of that relationship, I started using social media again specially when I had decided to take a job in Sacramento, CA.  I had left Sacramento for San Francisco before and fell madly in love with San Francisco.  It was heart breaking leaving such a beautiful place with such beautiful people.  To be fair, Sacramento offered me a job that I really thought I had wanted in an industry that I really love.

I wanted so badly to fall back in love with this city, but I couldn’t.  I was ready to give up, but a good friend of mind told me why don’t you use social media and document your daily musings in Sacramento…and I did. For a little while, it was exciting and nice. 

I was able to find/connect with people on there from Sacramento area, but I had zero intentions of really meeting them in real life and I still have zero intentions of meeting any of them in real life.  

To me, the people on Instagram are thats just it, strangers who are looking at my life from the outside in, but I have found that some people want to know too much whats going on in your life.  LIke, ok i posted a photo of my pizza from jupiter….why do you need to ask me where else i like to eat? whats your intention here? stalker much? Don’t get me wrong, most of my followers are people I know in real life from high school, traveling, college, work, concerts and friends/siblings of real friends.  So when strangers who just simply follow me, I tend to question things…

Recently, its been the case..and as much as I want to use it as a platform to raise awareness for things that i love and i do…I just simply don’t like it anymore.  It has brought more chaos in my relationships than anything…so maybe it’s time that I once again listen to my ex boyfriend’s advice and just “shut this madness down.”

Filed under words of advice madness alltheseaznbitches